On the advice of my attorney, however, I can’t tell you exactly what it is that I am apologizing for. But trust me, it’s worth saying I’m sorry.

That’s because what I did was wrong, and I understand that now. I would like everyone to know that I take full responsibility for my actions, and see clearly that I’ve let my colleagues, my friends and my family down. And my publicist. And I deeply regret the pain my behavior has caused.

Especially for my publicist, who will now have to go out and try to sell a new endorsement deal for damaged goods.

I wish I could tell you what it is that I’m sorry about, but apparently such a move is no longer required when publicly apologizing for bad behavior.

I’m taking my cue here from New York Yankees slugger Jason Giambi, who, confronted with suspicions that he has used performance-enhancing steroids, held a Feb. 10 press conference in which he said he was sorry, but wouldn’t admit to what it was that he had done.

The steroid scandal is big news in baseball right now. So Giambi met with reporters in the no-holds-barred press conference with his agent, Arn Tellem, by his side, ready to pounce on any question that might put his client in a bad light.

The strategy apparently worked, as the New York Times reported that Tellem interjected several times to cut Giambi off from answering, citing legal restrictions from an ongoing federal investigation into which baseball players, if any, may have used illegal performance-enhancing drugs from a nutritional supplement lab known as BALCO.

For example, The Times reports that when Giambi was asked if the lack of steroids would affect his performance on the baseball diamond, “Tellem objected to the question until it was rephrased without the word steroids.” Which is, after all, what a good agent should do.

There’s some question about what effect, if any, the controversy may have on Giambi’s career. While Yankees owner George Steinbrenner lauded his star player, saying, “It takes a hell of a big man to stand up and apologize to his teammates,” there seems little chance the Yankees will void his contract, which is expected to pay him $82 million during the next four years.

And, despite word that he may be moved from playing first base to designated hitter for the 2005 season, he will still get to play for the most prestigious team in baseball, in a storied ballpark while basking in the adulation of millions of fans.

So no, I’m not going to tell you what it was that I did. If Jason Giambi doesn’t have to, neither do I.

While we’re at it, since it’s likely that I can take responsibility for things that happened without actually admitting I did them, and it looks like I can get away scot-free in the end, thereare a couple of other things I’ve been meaning to get off my chest.

First off, there’s the possibility that I may have been confused in the past on the issue of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. I may or may not have seen classified intelligence saying that there would be no weapons found if we invaded, but I’m just not sure. There may have been meetings. There may have been satellite photos. But I understand now that I was wrong, and I regret that.

Also, there might have been some faulty prescription drugs that I approved for sale without taking into consideration the potentially bad side effects they caused. There could have been a study, for example, that showed the anti-inflammatory drug Vioxx or the pain-killer Celebrex wasn’t good for patients with heart problems. Maybe.

While I was CEO of a dynamic, world-changing multibillion-dollar corporation, there’s a possibility that I cooked the books so the company showed a profit even as it was going bankrupt. And I may have sold off my stock options just before the company folded, pocketing millions of dollars in the process. Oh, and I may have raided the retirement fund, too.

And, while we’re at it, there may have been some children molested at my multimillion-dollar fantasy ranch in California. I may or may not have been in the room when the gun was fired. The reporter who wrote the story just might not have been a real journalist. I might have been lip-synching during the concert. Social Security may or may not be going bankrupt. But I can’t be sure.

But no matter how you look at it, I take full responsibility, and have taken the necessary steps to make sure that I will never again have to apologize for these or any other examples of poor judgment or bad behavior on my part.

At one point during his press conference, Giambi described himself as the “sorriest man on the face of the Earth.”

I don’t think I’ll go that far. But I am sorry.

Like I said, you’ll just have to trust me on this one.